


Colorblind

by xXArrowHeartXx



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-29 15:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19402969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXArrowHeartXx/pseuds/xXArrowHeartXx
Summary: “I wanted to talk about itDammit I wanted to scream itI wanted to scream,I wanted to yell,I wanted to shout it,But all I could do was whisper:‘I’m fine’”HaThat was a lie





	Colorblind

“I miss me. The old me, the happy me, the bright me, the smiling me, the laughing me, the gone me.”

Those days were full of smiling and laughing. Those days were also dead, like everyone he ever cared about. Peter barley knew his parents, so it wasn’t t much of a grief to him when they died. Of course, he would always wondered how life might have been different if they had survived. Perhaps he wouldn’t t be so colorblind.

“Depression is being colorblind and told how beautiful the world is.”

The world was beautiful, at least on the surface. You had to be lucky to see past it and into the darkness, an infinite black hole of loss, regret, anger, greed, murder, and selfishness. 

But I guess nowadays everyone are those lucky people. 

The darkness had no end, it just kept taking and taking and taking.  
It never gave anything back.

Peter lost his Uncle, he could have saved him if he was smarter, faster, stronger, not a stupid and worthless kid.

“Kid.”

No, not him. Not now. 

The billionaire had walked into Peter’s life at 15. It was like a sunrise, a new beginning, things were going to get better, he would lose sight of the darkness, he would start to truly become the vigilante known as Spider-man, he would help people, save people, be a hero,  
He would not fail Mr. Stark like he failed Ben.  
Oh how wrong he was.

“Every thought was a battle, every breath was a war, and I don’t think I’m winning anymore.”

War [ wawr ]  
a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air. To simple of a description for a word that means so much. War ravages the land, kills the innocent, rips families apart, takes sons away from fathers and fathers away from sons. 

/inˈfinədē/ Learn to pronounce noun 1. the state or quality of being infinite. "the infinity of space" synonyms: endlessness, infinitude, infiniteness, boundlessness, limitlessness, unlimitedness, extensiveness, vastness, immensity; infinite distance "she stared out into the infinity of space" Vast, endless, and limitless. 

Powerful words aren’t they? 

There is a hidden meaning, and if you look closely, you’ll find it. 

But you must never go looking for it. 

When Anthony Stark died the world that hated him suddenly worshipped him. They built monuments in his name, they created breathtaking memorials. 

But what the fuck was that supposed to do? 

To remember him? 

No. Memories hurt too much, 

so Peter shoved them away into the blackhole.

“It sucks because I was getting better and now I’m m not.”

One,  
Single,  
Alone,  
One night that changed everything.  
Everything was happening too fast, but one minute the metal beam was heading for May Parker and next it was lodged in Peter’s- no, Spider-man’s side.

On that night Peter was graced with relief, relief that he had saved, relief that he would not break another promise,

Relief was given.  
And as the darkness of the blackhole rose out to claim him, he smiled.

There is hope,  
Just hold on.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s 2 am and I need to figure things out


End file.
